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afterglow

by the smallest one

/
1.
afterglow 03:08
your body creaks like your childhood home you stretch your limbs to ease your bones your muscles tear your hair falls out your memories have nothing to do with you cover your eyes to prepare for when the light burns out it’s strange to see a ghost alive so long before the body’s died tie your ankle to an anchor cut yourself loose once again you still can’t bear the end cover your eyes to prepare for when the light burns out dust collects on the casket of today chasing the tail of this afterglow
2.
carry on 03:02
your mom & dad your sister & your brother & all your friends who stuck around & faded now as you dream your last dream all you see pictures of everyone who made you laugh & loved you to death float above the hospital bed body hold the hands of everyone who lost you & all the tears in their eyes will disappear over time but you won’t fade though you’re gone you’ll carry on & on
3.
balance beam 04:29
said to me you couldn’t sleep asked if i’d help make you tea you said you were afraid of the dark i didn’t buy it but i felt your spark just say the words & i’ll be by your side go ahead if you’d like i’ll be close behind & you tell me there’s a battle between your body & soul you got tipped off of your balance beam, been trying to get back home conversation in your bed opened up the window & the thunder sounded like an earthquake it rumbled you to sleep i laid awake & you tell me there’s a battle between your body & soul you got tipped off of your balance beam, been trying to get back home don’t you cry bright blue eyes hold you through the cold night please don’t feel like you should have to apologize
4.
fireworks 03:18
it was a pretty evening she made sure of it nothing he could ever say would change her mind sitting on the edge on the roof of her apartment staring silently waiting for the fireworks to go off a look, a touch, a feeling a half-hearted ‘goodnight’ he knew the way she felt then by how quick she locked the door drifting from the edge now a speck in the distance realized again he was the fireworks that never went off
5.
turn your shoulder from the girl with pretty eyes but not as blue as those you let dissolve into the sky pluck the petals from the roses by the lake your veins enlarge with every step you choose to take cause you destroy everything that you touch—you’re so guilty try so hard to forget all those words she said you keep a record on to drown the voice out of your head trace the sunset on the window by your bed you’ll never have to watch another beautiful thing end but you can’t replace the sun yeah, it’ll set no matter what you could never tell, tell the difference between beginnings & ends something lost in the shock it’s in the shadow where you live
6.
7.
i don’t know what to do with all this time & i don’t know when the light switched off, or why i didn’t expect it to be so dark i thought i was more strong i was your rock what now, now that i’m not? what now, now that you’re gone?
8.
someday 03:06
settle down, it’s over now the mother you’ve cared for she’s suffered far too long now she’s gone, & you can’t seem to move on—no, you can’t stop driving to the hospital surprised each time the room is full of red-eyed strangers you never thought you’d feel so lost that the love you gave would always save you from the rain your crazy brain would always rinse out but you can’t sit still without the chill of knowing, someday, you’ll look into the mirror—you’ll see her you’ll be her, yes, you will
9.
when i was a lost dog you patched up my cut paw in your animal hospital i always felt safe & i thought i’d found a way out looking back there may not have been enough faith—would you say? phone call on the staircase imagined your kind face & i’d never forget the place took a picture in case i still pause when it stops in my annual draught then i think about roses & stolen hands i looked up cheap flights ruined the big surprise you said ‘you’re still a stranger, not yet,’ so i kept you in my mind never guessed that in time i’d end up stuck here wondering what it would be like i guess that’s just the way these things turn out sometimes
10.
reminders 03:48
you found his note taped to the mirror you could hardly read it through the tears & the heartache the confusion the denial that he's gone think back on all the times you had how you always thought of him as your dad the mistakes & the acceptance & the fires that kept you warm he always called you special reminders always helped but now that he's underground it’s all up to yourself to feel better to feel loved
11.
repeat 04:00
head to the sky watch it crack watch the night bleed from black into blue covered tracks leaving you at the door where you’ll be asking for one repeat but the wind has its way of pushing your body down one straight road open your eyes look ahead look behind but the rear-view is fogged & the path branches off oh your life is a line & a circle intertwined & the end when it comes let the memories flood through your skin

about

this album explores the period of time between the ending of some significant event (a relationship, youth, the life of a loved one, one's own life, etc.) and the beginning of another. endings can be very disillusioning, especially when one has allowed the event or circumstance that has now ceased to be to, in a large way, form or 'complete' one's identity.

i sometimes think about how i would respond if all of my material belongings were scorched in a house fire, & i believe it's unfortunately safe to say that i would feel as though i had lost a significant fraction of my identity. while it's easy to say something like, 'things can be replaced', i think if this were to actually occur, it would be difficult to actually feel that way.

the same goes for relationships - when you're situated in a relationship in which you're happy (for lack of a better word), it's hard not to feel as though he or she is the only person you could spend your life with. somewhere within, we probably know that this is not entirely true, but the extremity to which our feelings take over is near impossible to argue with.

anyway, i don't know if i've strayed from what i set out to say about/with this album, but i hope at least some songs resonate.

thanks for listening.

credits

released March 9, 2020

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about

the smallest one Calgary, Alberta

my name is mason & i like to write songs about things.

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