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the long way home - EP

by the smallest one

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1.
breathe 04:28
i saw you on my doorstep through the fisheye slot & i left you there ‘cause i knew you’d be better off & it’s something i know i’ll regret eventually but the thought of breaking two hearts makes it hard for me to breathe i spent the year trying hard not to think of you kept busy though there was nothing really to do if i keep up this way it’s fair to say i’ll end up lost i’ll look up one day & realize that i’d forgot to breathe now the crows wait for our eyes & we’re running out of time so we look back on our lives what we lost always outshines what we kept
2.
i don’t know if i was there enough i don’t know where i was i was drifting after hours at the bar was where you first told me how far you went to find yourself checked your luggage when you got there you forgot all of the colours you’d intended to paint back on stopped in your tracks & stared at the wreck you felt nothing as the flashing lights arrived checked yourself into the hospital & they told you what they thought could help you meet yourself where you are
3.
never again 03:14
walking home took the long way again on the side of the road i found a little bird stuck in the ditch its left wing pierced with a stick it cried out i gently picked it up & took it in & i tried to help it but it died if i let it be it would’ve probably been fine so i locked myself for days inside & promised never again to even try on the phone with your voicemail again tried to make it to the tone but couldn’t under the static & the tears i would’ve said ‘i want you here’ & that i miss you & i’m sorry for my stupid fears well you tried to reach out but i lied & told you ‘i’m busy—it’ll have to be next time’ now i lock myself for days inside & i’m haunted by the fact i didn’t try
4.
take it easy 02:57
stop, take it easy & steal my eyes just for the day walk through this doorway into this mirror-less room nothing but you lock out that monster the ghost that feeds on your self-doubt & fall out of line with the alien that takes your shape for days look them in the eye & tell them to kindly fuck off & die pump my blood into your veins & maybe you’ll make peace with yourself
5.
trying 02:41
been trying to stop my head from doing its own thinking & i’m trying to stop my bed from telling me to sink in oh i don’t know where i will be in 5 years with this degree & am i well enough myself to help anyone else? been trying to get myself to accept that i might need help for the way that i choose to cope with the pile under the rope oh i’m afraid to disappear & i try to kill that fear am i gonna self-destruct or try to pick myself up?

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released November 7, 2020

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the smallest one Calgary, Alberta

my name is mason & i like to write songs about things.

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