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comatose

by the smallest one

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1.
nothing new 03:14
just as you'd expect got nothing new to tell you tethered to my bed it's no longer a refuge don't let me forget why i still haven't left always in my head it might never get better everything i've said you may as well forget it cause this could really be the last time you see me (kept the puzzle for myself now it's too late to ask for help pry my fingers open just to find you didn't have to guess at all)
2.
comatose 04:05
dying tree you're much like me got nothing left to try to be before you leave the starry sky caught my attention for a while then blew in the ceiling of smoke from the forest fire did the time, still misaligned day-by-day repeating it all line-by-line paid the toll, still hard to know which direction if any to go guess i'll just head home comatose in stranger's clothes well flipping through these pages always was a chore the fire in these eyes is fading with the night hopefully some memories live on after we die
3.
i watched my spirit carry on without me a trail of yellow paint left on the floor the other skeletons took me in & fed me wine & bread & gave me a tour no i won't let this last i'll always find a way to fuck it up i'm told this too will pass well not for me, i better be getting on my way i called the doctor in & told my story he took my blood & said all hope was lost the other physicians took me in & fed me lithium & strapped me to a cot said "come on let's get you back there's always hope for folks such as yourself" it all happened so fast but i am normal now oh hi how are you okay
4.
once again 04:09
you're overseas i'm on my knees trying hard not to suffocate myself again a couple months couldn't vanish soon enough & i can't promise all that much leave me be can't you see i'm busy killing myself slowly once again i need some time to reteach myself the lines & the purpose of it all darlin' please keep me company, i'm back to my old self once again take my hand tell me everything's alright even if it's not alright
5.
until then 03:10
stealing glances at the overpass it's got a certain glow tonight walking past it start to panic i'll save it for another time well i'm still here another year i'll disappear but i'll clutch onto what i can until then no matter what i do i can't escape this room if i could i might feel alive & if i told you that i'm tired of this old act could you still look me in the eye no i'm not here this is the year i'll let it steer but i'll hold onto what i can 'til the end
6.
(insomnia) 01:39
7.
all the same 04:13
cut the tip of my finger remember how to feel cower away from the shadow every time it gets too real is it right to keep going on in spite of having already died if i don't make it through i'll break in two one for me, one for you if i don't say goodbye just know i tried to find the light inside i tried static, if not automatic every day it's all the same give it another winter repeat it all again if i don't lose my mind please help me find the way to paradise if i don't let it go i'll never know how to unfold, i won't oh no
8.
hate to see you this way do you want me to stay say the words, i'll go away i just can't bear to see you hurt yourself again wish i could just be a flame burn away all of your pain i think i got here too late no it's all water & that's all it'll be for you & me
9.
losing light 04:57
rest your head on mine close your eyes & count to ten when you open up i'll be a better man tangled up in twine you're the fighter i'm the ref making up the rules at every chance i get come on tell me i'll eventually arrive cause the pressure in my head's getting too high push me to the side spare me or leave me to die just whatever you do don't let me be right straighten up my spine bones & tissues of cement living hunched over so long i can't unbend on the summer shore waiting for the sun to set when it finally does i'll be free of regret slowly losing light a world turned black & white i'll wait in this cave until i'm realigned set me in your sights pull the trigger, blow my mind just be sure to tell them i put up a fight
10.
i don't want to know & i don't need to see cause i don't know what i'd believe with nowhere to go & with no place to be who said it was good to be free well we're all alone ripe to corrode so why not be alone with me i'm not ready for the other side though it's always on my mind i'm still alive i'm too stubborn to let myself shine though it would be for the best i'll keep it inside of my chest i still got a lot to do anxious or not I run to what shuts my head up too many distractions & not enough action it may never slow down or stop the ravens all crow just wait 'til i'm old 'cause that's just how long it might be i'm not ready to give up this vice thought it's not so good for me i'll keep it alive i'll keep picking away at this life although it's not a guarantee i guess i'll just try my best

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released April 14, 2023

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the smallest one Calgary, Alberta

my name is mason & i like to write songs about things.

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