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silent dreams

by the smallest one

/
1.
thought about you on the drive home from another failed attempt at love. my mind goes to you every time i stop to look into the sky, at all the stars. is it that you’re out of reach? i’ll never know until we meet. so for now, i’ll keep you in my heart.
2.
new year 02:55
all the lights, they dissolve into the sky. i wish they’d just stick around for the night. still, i wander outside, into the dark, fingers crossed that i find some sort of spark. but the fireworks have gone away, & left no afterglow. my legs give up, & i collapse into the snow. it’s a new year, but it feels like before. lock my resolutions inside the drawer. open it in May to see that piece of paper all alone – ink as black as the night i took it home.
3.
same pace 03:01
all these walking people – some fast, some slow. many, i pass quickly; more pass me, though. but i await the day when fate places my legs at the same precise pace as one who encapsulates grace.
4.
it’s t-shirt weather in late-december. but i’m in my coat, for when it gets worse. it finally snows. everyone goes away into their cozy homes. but i keep walking, with no place in mind, patiently waiting for the summertime to come. it’s nine at night & it’s still bright. i wait for a call to take me outside. i sit in my chair, & blankly stare - but all i see is warm, dead air. so i shut my eyes, & make my into that clear, colourful dream-world, that i so often lose myself to. well, i’ve got nothing against the winter months, ‘cause in the summer, i feel just as much alone.
5.
6.
i know they say to get yourself right before you venture out into the wild. & i’ve subscribed to this very concept, with the intention of a happier life. but it’s hard when every new year, your well-being lowers exponentially. & now i sit on this old empty park bench, wondering where the love of mine could be. so i wait, & wait, for someone to take a seat in this cold spot next to me. but my watch keeps on spinning.
7.
one & only 02:46
he checked his watch with a sigh. he rolled his sleeve up – that’s when we looked into each other’s eyes for the last time. his warm hands packed me away, & you as well. as he got up, from his pocket, you fell. & i cried out for help, but no one seemed to hear. to him, you were just another glove. but to me, you were my one and only love.
8.
come alive 03:04
marley was taken from his mother, long ago. he was skinny &hairless, & his eyes were still closed. his eyes were closed. marley spends most of his days looking outside. the rest you’ll find him whispering to his best friend, “please just come alive. “just come alive, & come awake. open your eyes, so then, we can play. “just come alive, & stay awake. we’ll go outside. everything will be okay.”
9.
up all night 03:15
this is the day you tell me how you're feeling. but these ears don’t want to hear a single song your lips have to sing. a coffee shop, you say. you don’t even like the taste. in my bed, i lay all day, dreaming up a way to escape. this is the night – the first one i spend alone. the weather in my head doesn’t clear, so i stay up all night staring at the phone.
10.
in my mind 04:24
i traveled into the future, to admire the life we will share. the further i looked ahead, the less i found you there. so i made my way to the past, to find out where we got off track. but all i seemed to see, was you lying next to me. yeah, you were smiling at me. &, as always, your face looked so sweet. then i awoke here in the present, & threw my head to the side. the more effort i put into searching, the harder you were to find. yeah, you were so hard to find, ‘cause you were made up in my mind. yeah, you were made up in my mind. oh, i drew you up in my mind. yeah, you were a part of my mind. so, in this conversation in my head, with you, the last time, you say, “the more time you spend dreaming, the less you’ll spend being alive. oh, if you spend all your time dreaming, you may never open your eyes.”

credits

released November 17, 2016

written, recorded, performed by mason mcconnell.

mastered by Radio Ready PR.

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the smallest one Calgary, Alberta

my name is mason & i like to write songs about things.

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