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wasted space

by the smallest one

/
1.
(evolve) 00:35
2.
oh deer 02:52
you wake up, & you’re waiting at a red light. by the time it turns, you’re too shook up to move. everyone behind begin to lost their minds. & you just sit there. & as they pass, they laugh & stare. & when you finally go, you drive so safe & slow. the backdrop turns to black. the cars all disappear. you’re the only one, so you step on the gas. a deer comes into sight. you veer off to the right, & you swerve into the lake. & in the air, you give your thanks to the animal, for saving you from the prison of your brain.
3.
pointed all their cameras from the bottom of the cliff, fingers crossed they’d get the perfect shot. gathered up the masses, & chased them to the edge, & filtered history with what they caught. & they watched all those helpless creatures dive – for dollar signs, they claimed it suicide. &, though the truth is often painted grey with lies, its colours always re-emerge with time. crowded all around at the bottom of the building, fingers crossed the man would change his mind. the worry of the masses turned into static noise – though well-intentioned, it couldn’t carry him inside. & they watched the body carving through the clouds, & a frantic wave of panic washed across the crowd. &, ‘cause his heart could never sputter out a sound, he thought he’d be better off inside the ground.
4.
the mountain grew eyes today, & i saw tears rolling down her face, as she watched everything go to shit at the touch of their skin; the ice is getting thin. the tree grew a heart today. i could sense a deep state of disarray inside his chest, as he found all his friends tumbling down. he was next. then the rest. the ocean grew wings today, & i watched: as she tried to fly away, she got caught in a giant box. & so, she won’t know what it’s like to be the sky. & now she’ll never find out.
5.
circles 03:16
you reach into that frozen box, & pull a bottle out, without a thought. like your grandfather, & like your dad, you’re always sad, but can’t say why. but you can’t possibly believe that the morning will set you free. just open your eyes, & you’ll see that this relief is only temporary. you stick that needle in your arm; it’s the only way, now, to get you calm. anxiety, it permeates, & your body aches for so much more. well, a cycle will never break if you keep spinning in circles, every day. & there are far too many gates – with welcome space – to let yourself go to waste.
6.
watched his head grow as tall as trees; the difference was he knew & controlled what he perceived. & i know it’s insecurities that fuel his vanity – something buried far too deep. & when the wind blows his leaves away, the sky’s always to blame. & all the wistfulness eating at his heart's an injustice he can’t take, so he masks the pain with a smiling face, & a cluttered brain, just hoping that he won’t break.
7.
your brothers turned their backs, & left you out on the street, with nothing but a piece of chalk, & a canvas of concrete (for all your dreams). but when you looked down to the ground, all the grey had been taken over, so you searched for other ways to bear the days. that's when you gave us your time. now, every day, we await your return to our tree. & we’re thankful for your presence; without you, we’d go hungry. we’d go hungry. well, your name has been stripped away, & you’ve been made to feel like wasted space. & i’m sorry – so sorry – for everything. if you were small enough, we’d love so much to take you in, but we’re not that big. we’re just not that big.
8.
always 04:10
always searching for a cause. but when there’s nothing, you dream one up. always packing things away in tiny boxes, too small to house them. well, it’s easier to love the things that you make up – whether it’s a friend, or a god, or a story you’ve written in the mud. always running from a ghost you’ve conjured up to save you from yourself. always feeling so goddamn special, & using us to rid your superstitions. well, it’s easier to carve perfect patterns in the stars, & credit some designer, than to wander calmly in the dark, & to trust the hum within your heart.
9.
oh, what an ugly mark we’ve left, building towers with the dust we’ve swept. someday, we’ll see just what we’ve done - until then, let’s just whistle & hum.
10.
some 03:37
i’m going to a wedding, darling. will you come along, as my plus-one? we can share a meal, & watch the people drink themselves into an early grave. the sun is swallowed by the hillside, & the stars begin to shine, but not an eye looks above. the people dance around to sounds that scare away the birds, & all our friends back underground. but they don’t understand what they’re getting themselves into. some just aren’t meant for one, & some can’t even recognize their own reflection. & though the clock, it screams into the past, they hide behind fake cataracts. but who am i to call them out? no, i’ll just keep my thoughts inside, where they belong.
11.
spending resources to find you a new home, just to destroy it all again. moving forward at the cost of all the rest – you say, “that’s just the price we have to pay.” sending shuttles, armed with messages, away – desperate cries of self-defeat. pray to the empty sky for answers, every day; but what makes you think they even want to meet? but you keep trying; you’ve got heart, i’ll give you that. just what’s missing is a soul – that’s probably why we’re left alone.
12.
your kind 02:56
i hear you’d like to separate yourself from everything you hate; society is digging its own grave. association with that group is more dreadful than death, to you. you hope that some catastrophe would strike. but dear, know you’re good. you're not alone in this. the shame you feel will pass, as long as you keep a sharp eye out for your kind.
13.
machines 03:34
remember all the old stories that we were told, to scare us from their contraptions? we thought they were all just lies. i never thought we’d see these fictions come to life. i must admit: i wish we listened, now, as i look to the time when i turned back, & cried, as you got caught in its path. you just weren’t fast enough, & that machine split you in half. & i died inside.
14.
it was a cosmic leap - at first felt like a dream, but slowly found it to be true. gave it some time to set. lent it a name, & let nature do all the rest for you. but was it just a matter of time before it left your soul behind? then our heads began to grow; through several cycles - sun & snow - witnessed, first hand, history repeat. was this an accident, or brought about by careful hands - another chance to get it right? or is it just a matter of time before this spark spreads like a wildfire?
15.
they flashed their guns, & forced us to surrender. although we fought so much to protect our families from the intruders, it wasn’t quite enough. sorry. we were packed behind the glass for their own entertainment, before we even had a say, whether or not they could enslave us. i guess that’s just the way it goes. then, that day, in late july, from deep space, they came, & placed them in the cages, before they had time to retaliate. that was the day we were saved.
16.
the mountain, the tree, & the ocean all huddled up, & made an agreement to stick around, no matter what. the street lights & the lanterns looked up to the sky, & wondered what it’s like to be alive. the raindrops were brushed off the big, blue umbrella, & questioned what they did wrong, as they all fell to their death. the curtains, the locks, & the screens kept the people safe from their kind; & they sigh – are they happy in their caves? when everything has gone away, & we no longer have a name; & the memories we have made all inevitably fade; & everything around us dies – & we’ve no time to say goodbye; a pale, grey dot in the night sky – it meant so much to us one time; well, what was the purpose? – & was this all worth it?

credits

released March 1, 2017

music by mason mcconnell
album art: Gordon McBryde
mastered by: Radio Ready PR

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the smallest one Calgary, Alberta

my name is mason & i like to write songs about things.

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