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1. |
shaky hands
03:23
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you always pick apart the way
you are, when you pretend.
i could wash away the pain
you feel will never end.
if i keep quiet,
will you understand?
anything to calm
your shaky hands.
i heard you’re having trouble
navigating through the fog.
take my hand, & i’ll get you
back to where you want.
if i let go,
would you turn to sand?
or would that palliate
your shaky hands?
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2. |
touch
04:43
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leave it up to me
to let you down—
i know just how
so well.
toss you up & let you
hit the ground;
when you wake up,
i’ll be gone.
‘cause i was just looking for
someone to touch,
& once i made it through that door,
i knew i wouldn’t want
you anymore—
yeah, i’d just get bored.
fifteen minutes in
the motel room.
you’re whispering to
yourself.
distance fills the space
between us fools—
soon enough,
our time will be up.
‘cause i was just looking for
someone to hold;
thought maybe you could fill up
that tiny hole
inside my chest.
now i see that
i can’t reset
my happiness
with love, or sex—
no, only death
can calm my head.
& so i’ll just
give it my best
to make sure that
i get there quick.
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3. |
crumble
03:42
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you spent the night again
at work, & didn’t call.
remember what i said
about those binding walls?
you try to say that it’s okay,
that it’s just for the time being;
but you have this way
of drinking when you lie.
you talk about retiring,
maybe move to France.
or maybe mexico,
where we could learn to dance.
but i can’t take you serious,
with that drink in your hand.
yeah, let’s be real—you crumble
even at the thought of that.
no, it’s not freedom
that you’re seeking.
& you’re not asking
to be saved.
& it’s not something
to believe in,
no, just somehow
to make it through the day.
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4. |
sinking
04:43
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feel my heart—is it still in there?
i haven’t had the time
to check, myself.
a work of art won’t make itself;
& this drinking, & self-pity
doesn’t help.
swimming in a can of paint.
i can no longer feel my legs.
i see the colours now,
& i know what to say,
but i keep sinking,
anyway.
hear my voice—is it still warm?
i might’ve lost the light
inside, again.
it’s not a choice—yeah, it settles in,
& it dissipates as seamless
as it came.
a faceless figure staring back
from my reflection in the glass.
i start to panic,
& i look down to my hands,
but it seems i’ve disappeared,
at last.
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5. |
if only
03:43
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you found yourself surrounded by
a crowd of smiling people.
you looked down to the ground,
& thought,
‘if only i could go back—
carve a new path—
maybe i would be
happy too.’
you stepped inside your room to find
that everything had vanished.
you lied down on the floor,
& thought,
‘if only i had not been
so dependent
on those objects, i wouldn’t feel
this empty.’
you were dragged down by your pale heart,
to the graveyard, to your father.
you saw the rock, & stared, & thought,
‘if only i’d been there more,
he’d have been less worn
by the winter, but
it’s too late.’
well, the past won’t change
for anyone.
& all that’s left is the wraith
of a setting sun.
but you got lost,
swimming in your memories.
& got hung up
on a face you couldn’t keep;
yeah, it’s a race you’ll never lead—
& that’s for sure.
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6. |
lost
04:12
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the city’s got me feeling sick
again—i’m not sure i’ll make it
this time. if i could
just break through this skin,
that might give me a chance to begin
again.
well, i’m seeing fire in the sky,
but i don’t seem to be wondering why.
if i could crack open my skull
& look in my mind,
i could sweep out the fog that i find
inside.
& now there are curls in the pages
of a book i thought would never age.
& i keep fighting my brain
for it still to contain
all the answers that once kept me sane.
& so i lock myself away
in this room, where i’m safe
from all those bright eyes
piercing down from the sky;
it’s a lie—yeah, we’re all
a little lost.
we’re lost.
i’m lost.
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the smallest one Calgary, Alberta
my name is mason & i like to write songs about things.
the smallest one recommends:
so very nice
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my favourite album of 2015
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if i could put ben cooper's entire discography here, i would
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