We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

what happened?

by the smallest one

/
1.
buddy 03:30
buddy the dog had a friend named paul. paul was a cow – the biggest cow of ‘em all. they hung out every single day. when they got tired, they took a nap in the hay. then one day, buddy went outside, but paul was gone. thought, ‘he must be hiding.’ so he searched and searched all across the farm, but paul was too sly, though, he couldn’t be far. his daddy called him for a snack - the best shepherd’s pie buddy ever had. then he went back to find his pal. looked every day, ‘til he was put in the ground.
2.
you’re asking lots of questions about life, and if they come unanswered you don’t mind. you hear it’s complicated - the truth is overrated, so for now don’t worry, it’s alright. you stop the walk with chilling urgency. you've come across a flower and a bee. their chemistry is magic - you’re told it’s just a sad trick, and they cuff your wrists, and drag you from the scene. when all you really wanted was to know all these things that everybody knows, but they won’t show. and you whisper to that flower and that bee, “i know you two are special, i don’t know why they can’t see.” and the bee whispered back, “don’t ever change.” you scribble with a marker on the wall - a rocket ship, a dog, a basketball. they stumble through the big door, say “that’s not what it’s meant for,” and it’s covered with the colour of the halls. you’re climbing up a tree with some friends, careless about what might happen next. they say you’re gonna break your neck, and that they have your best interest, but really, who’s to say what’s best? when all you really wanted was to have a childhood spent thoughtless - is that really much to ask? and you hop into that rocket ship, and fly so far away from everything that you once called your life. and you leave all that brokenness behind, only to find a piece of it still by your side. and so your loneliness carries you back home.
3.
picking and pulling at crooked stars just to cover our own. if the planets weren’t hidden, we’d still find ways to make them feel alone. thinking if i had a better voice, i’d be happier, but i know once i got there, i’d just be aching for more. i can’t make a move without my eyes twitching so tenuously. to this hazy little world, my lip begins to curl. don’t mind, i’ll go quietly. been listening to the rhythm of the wind, trying to pick up on the notes. but the weather just keeps howling and thundering in my head, and i don’t know if i’m high or i’m low. i can’t feel a thing without my hands pulling back so nervously. in this loud and busy place, no one can see my face, but i still feel like they’re watching me, although, i know they’re not watching me. don’t mind, i’ll go quietly.
4.
little one 05:34
little one, don’t you sigh. you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. little one, you’re dragging your feet through the puddles in the street, in your best shoes. little one, your heart is gold, but you’ve never been told about it. so you walk across town with your eyes fixed to the ground, without it. and you can’t help but feel like the smallest one. but you can’t let these fears become loaded guns, pointing towards the sun. little one, you got caught in a whirl, now you’re scared to talk to girls, and strangers. little one, now there’s a hole in your heart – it was your brain that threw the dart that made it. and all of your thoughts get scattered and lost within your head, so you don’t talk. and all of your friends wonder where you’ve been; the more time passes, the less you see them. and it carries on. yeah, it carries on. it carries on and on. yeah, it carries on. it carries on; one day you’ll wake up, and everything’s gone. and you can’t help but feel like the smallest one. but you can’t let these fears become loaded guns, pointing towards the sun.
5.
fire escape 03:10
you made her breakfast for her 25th birthday. cereal and toast, ‘cause you’re still struggling with eggs. she kissed you on the cheek with a mouthful of wheat and Special K. you made a plan and wrote in on a post-it note. she said, “show me”, you said, “i don’t like your tone.” she asked what you’ve devised, and you said, “it’s a surprise. come on, let’s go.” you zipped her up, and then began to make your way. then the fire alarm echoed down the apartment hallway. she clutched your arm. you said, “it’s a false alarm. we’ll be okay.” you hurried down the hall with her hand in your hand. pushed and pulled the handle, but the fire escape was jammed. you looked under the door and saw the flames tear up the floor, and you looked back at her. and all you could see was her dazed eyes glowing. you opened up her hand, and you dropped the note in. tears welled down her cheek as she read your plan; you held up the velvet square and you both felt all your fear dissolve.
6.
7.
i love you more than anything, but i don’t show you, and i’m sorry for that. you called me on my birthday - you were the only one. we talked about being sad. you told me of things i’ve never seen. twelve years alone.. how could that be? beats me. you find yourself tethered to the calendar, and you can’t cut the ropes. you’re swimming in a sea filled with monsters, just trying to find a boat. you could join in on the scare, but that wouldn’t get you anywhere. you give your best for all you do, but no one seems to notice you. what happened here? all the things you thought you’d have by now are nowhere near, and the moments from the past will never reappear. so close your eyes, and let your heart heal.
8.
last night, i saw you in the middle of the road. i shined my lights right on you, and they speckled through the holes. i got out to help you, but you pushed my hands away. please just let me help you; you know, i’ve always kept you safe. we had no conversation - we were talking to ourselves. picked up your medication. maybe this time it’ll help. then i said your name, and you looked my way. your eyes were automatic, i could hardly bear. your mind was so sporadic, but I could tell you were still in there. but I lost my voice to all the noise inside your head, so now i tread in the water that once was pure, now filled with dirt. oh god, it hurts. so I dug up old memories from when you were okay. we used to be so happy. i hope death takes the noise away.
9.
time machine 04:49
you held my hand at my bedside. it felt just like it did when we were young. do you recall my grandfather’s last words? his eye’s caught mine. they said, “don’t die alone.” then his eyes closed. and I asked my dad, “where did he go?” and he said, “i don’t know.” do you remember the time machine we built, so we would never have to grow old? look, now, at us – it’s not the same; you’ve moved, and i’ve stayed in one place. but, tell me, and try to be honest: is this the way you pictured it? well, not me.

about

songs about expectation and disappointment; innocence interrupted by inexorable - sometimes fatal - injustices; dispositional deficiencies; and some of the other fun stuff in between. 'what happened?' ages with the listener as the tracks collide, beginning with a children's story gone wrong, and ending with a man on his death-bed looking back at his life in despair. life is good.

credits

released July 21, 2016

credits: mason mcconnell

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

the smallest one Calgary, Alberta

my name is mason & i like to write songs about things.

contact / help

Contact the smallest one

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

the smallest one recommends:

If you like the smallest one, you may also like: