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where i used to live - EP

by the smallest one

/
1.
turn me upside down & shake my dreams out of my pockets i don’t need them now i’ve got a desk with my name on it this pile of paper grows i’ve never looked at a page but i don’t get rid of them just in case give my body to the city where i was born leave it out for all the citizens when they’re bored to look at, & make what they want of the life i had no, i probably didn’t have
2.
my own way 03:40
i did a line but i never got pretty just sort of bloated and a little depressed i over eat and i watch too many movies dream up new friends because my life is pretend i had a girlfriend but i left her behind now when my friends ask i still tell them she’s fine say don’t worry she’ll meet up with us next time it’s not the truth but it’s not really a lie some days i feel like i won’t get any older i won’t get married i don’t want any kids grow up alone and i won’t have people over won’t watch tv so i won’t know what i’ll miss i don’t know why i’m like this it hasn’t always been this way my doctor says there’s a medicine to help me but i’m too fucking stubborn i’ll just suffer in my own way
3.
you looked nice when you said you wanted to go to that new place on 7th where your friends went last week i knew i couldn’t afford it i think you did too your eyes were so green that when you closed them i could still tell so i said i would go you looked nice sitting at the bar $7 gin n’ tonic i ordered club soda with lime in secret sipped at it & imagined the vodka imagined other places i’d rather be but you looked nice you looked nice at the train station hair curled over your left shoulder fell asleep mid-conversation can’t recall what i said just the weight of your head on my arm it felt a crime to shake you back to life but you just smiled & asked the time as though you cared to know
4.
there’s a life outside my window where i used to live i sit there watching it while i wonder what it might be like to taste it one more time i go to work in a new world walk through in old one on the way there i pass friends & lovers & even myself i want to speak to him just one more time when i get home in the dark before everybody else i sit with razors in my eye a tear between my fingers convince myself i can do this one more time
5.
without you 03:17
you saved my life but not in the way that i would’ve died without you you gave me something to look forward to when i was only ever looking back when i get lost lost in the night you’re my north star my spirit guide can’t say i buy into all that all i can say is how you’re always the brightest in the room without even meaning to shine at all oh, you showed me how to live how to stand on my own led the way & waited patiently while i stumbled & i know you’re no angel i’d probably be just fine without you but i don’t want to find out

about

this EP marks my first time trying to put another person's words to music. matt sutton has been a close friend of mine for more than 12 years. we used to skateboard at the same park, where he would tease me, & i very much disliked him at first. somehow, though, we became friends, & only relatively recently he has emerged as a very talented poet - one of my favourites, even (I'm sure half out of bias, the other half a sincere identification with & enjoyment of his work). anyway, most of the writing credit goes to matt, & this was a fun collaborative project to experiment with.

credits

released July 31, 2019

composed, recorded, & produced by mason mcconnell
lyrics by matt sutton & mason mcconnell

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the smallest one Calgary, Alberta

my name is mason & i like to write songs about things.

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