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1. |
january
04:38
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going 20 in the deep snow
i can’t tell you when i’ll be home
i know i haven’t been myself for a while
january’s never felt so vile
maybe things will get better come spring
still anxious for what tomorrow brings
if i die don’t tell my father
just let him find out in the paper
or through a funeral e-card
i’ll have time to say goodbye
if we meet again in the dark
can’t blame the weather
for the way that my brain works
don’t count the seconds
it‘ll only make it worse
let’s brave the winter
for a little longer now
& focus on each snowflake
til the rain pours down
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2. |
april
03:11
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i was sober
you were moving
i helped you with my truck
you were pregnant
i was losing
my mind more every day
& i’m still so nervous
around you though i won’t ever
know you any better than a friend
it was april
i was blooming
my stems & roots all clean
in the basement
excavating
dug up your skeleton
& i cried & turned on
the TV so i could die
believing that there were
worse things in this life
oh i’m a coward
i can’t fool myself this time
but the seed’s sunk far
too deep for me to find
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3. |
july
04:14
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not so sure i’m still alive
it’s 40 in the middle of july
no revelation no respite
the years go by so fast i’m terrified
nightmare summertime
light my head on fire
colourless desire
haunt me back to life
maybe i should learn how to pray
fool myself into some kind of faith
the wound in me worsens each day
i love you but i don’t think i’m okay
life-tired lullaby
sleepwalk day & night
pleasure paralyzed
wake me up in time
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4. |
october
05:11
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feel the breeze carrying me
no finish line in sight
you seem to be closer to reaching
a tree you could climb
wait there just a couple minutes
i could be your fallen star
either burn or take you far
away from any threat of winter
baby, make me believe what’s
so good about spring or summertime
why can’t we just
lay here for a little longer
without thinking, only feeling
why do we always
make haste to end the moment
when it’s all we’ve really got
autumn leaves, october weeps
for one last pretty day
the city sleeps, you’re out of reach
my skin is growing stale
don’t climb down to meet me
if you’re busy, make me wait a while
maybe that’ll help me find
a way up, relinquish my fear
of love, & appreciate the
view of the river flow from above
why can’t we just
stay & burn down here together
without wondering what we could’ve been
why do i always
leave every thought unspoken
while my mind & body rot
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the smallest one Calgary, Alberta
my name is mason & i like to write songs about things.
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